where's my vanilla latte?

maybe all u need is just....

2009-07-02T11:59:00.000-07:00

what happens to all the reflections done in your mind the moment u fell aslp?

-do they drift into the dreams and remain in your la la land?

what happens to the big profound phrases that someone advised you on about life and humanity?

-are u able to extract the essence about them and found enlightenment?

if all these only gives you momentarily effects then i should say,Don't Bother.
why make yourself feel better only the moment before you fall asleep? why make yourself feel that life is about treasuring your love ones and friends when the next second you start bitching to your friend on msn or sms.

Perhaps all you need is just panadaol extra.
pop 2 tablets.1 cup of water.lotsa sleep.
wake up. everything is fresh.go on with life and do not look back.
greater things are in stored for you just ahead.

note: this post is not a panadol advert. it's a post panadol taker who still can't fall aslp at 3.30am with work the next day at 8.30am!

catch up with me abt SCDF.

2009-05-10T03:03:00.000-07:00

hello guys.

a very quick update on moiself.

ive successfully cleared all 5 test in BRTC.
namely IPPT,SOC,First Aid Test, Rescue Equipments and Fire Fighting.

im now left with my last two weeks before POP!

was called up for Provost and National Civil Defence Cadet Cors.(NCDCC) instrutor interview.rejected the first and felt that the latter interview went quite smoothly.

no one wants to be a storeman! so pls.kp your fingers crossed!

======

going to shower,pack up and book in soon.
gotta be in 30mins earlier today due to footdrill comp practice.sigh.tiring.

anyhoos,im in POP mode already.not feeling as depress as the past wks when bookin in.
2 more weeks and chapter 1 is over.thank god.
=====

miss hanging out with this bunch of pple lots!

====
ok.i really have to run now.bye guys!
PLS ASK ME OUT!

talking about worrying.

2009-04-10T20:41:00.000-07:00

my constant worry as a friend was actually taken for granted.period.
.

2009-04-05T12:28:00.000-07:00

hello.

its been a long wait for NS.
finally,im smelling it.ha.

trying very hard to get some inspiration to pen(type) down for this entry.
but i know if i dont say something tonight.
the next time its going to be updated is gonna be really quite sometime.

tmr im meeting my cousin in the day for a swim.
we will be catching a movie.
buy the remaining toiletries.
fetch my auntie to my place and dinner altogether.

bottom line.spend some quality cousin time.hahahaha.so cheeeeesy!

but oh wells,he is the only younger cousin i have.i really see him as my younger brother since ive always wanted one.i hope he wised for siblings too.lol

ok.no more of these hair standing lines.

.

very random,but i love u mum and dad!

.
okies.
people...LATER!!!

2009-03-30T14:23:00.000-07:00

ah ma,

thank you for everything.

i love you.

missing you,
xian en

make a point.

2009-03-04T08:28:00.000-08:00

im quite certain that,

i lack discipline
i lack concentration
i lack determination
and
i lack perseverance
.
.
all i know is to eat, sleep and watch tv.
im sucha worm when it comes to proper work.
lately, ive gradually lost touch with the most familiar activity i enjoy most,sports.
and on the other hand, the national geographic web has somewhat been my latest haunt.

i dun have a long list of things i want to achieve by the end of march.
but i would like to have it typed visibly in front of me and not just constant self-reminder.my headaches kinda erase them automatically, and the next thing i rmb...is nothing to do at all.

so..by next wk.im going to....

#fix another pair of spectacles for NS.
#buy SAT study guide.
#force myself to... do land exercise,run and swim.
#shave my hair at the end of the month?lol
#grab a copy of nat geo mag!yesh!

yea,i think that should be it.really not much.basically the to-dos are prep for april enlistment.everyone is asking me if im excited or am i ready.
no,guys,im not.dun make such a big fuss over NS like as if its the biggest thing to look forward.maybe,just for some.
i only wish tt mindef shud have let me in once i finished tt extra sem.but they choose to dangle me instead.arseholes.and of all things,they welcomed me to SCDF.

yea,so they have different vocations inside too.im not n i will refuse firemen and paramedic. i do not want to carry a stretcher,neither do i want to run around carrying a long heavy hose.

alrights,lets talk about something else.
there is this new era coming up call the "emo" era.

i find it overused and abused by people.
they can so easily blame things and the world because thats the way they are or they are just feeling emo most of the time.
it is definitely normal to be down or emo when things dun go your way from time to time.and friends would be there to pick you up.
however,it is not meant to become a personality.
because,when one start to over rely on this emo personality,they become so shaken and get drawn into this well of darkness.from then on,their thoughts are simply as big as the circumference of the well. their world is most of the time cold like the still water inside.
is this a new age depression!?!

i find it discouraging, and a strong sign ofweaknessin the long run.

perhaps,the major pitfall into this state are people who once had a bad fall in life or someone who hasnt been able to keep moving forward in life for a long while.that would lead to over brooding of thoughts which eventually turn negative and then "emo".

ok.i know my view on this will be strongly opinionated by skeptical readers.tt is if there is any to begin with.lol.
there isnt any offense meant to anyone directly or indirectly.

so,pls do not come interrogate my thoughts 'cause ive already made my point.

choosing colours

2009-02-24T21:25:00.000-08:00

recently i've been getting more sudden waves of pain in different areas of my head.
it kinda knocks me off my mind for that couple of seconds when it happens.
the worst that ive experienced was this burning sensation at the back of my head which last for ard 10secs?

now tt i've been getting all these headaches since poly year 1.im starting to worry.=\.

==============================================================================

i cant wait for april to be here.not coz im excited abt NS,but at least once im in,i know im one visible step nearer to uni.

onward with life!!!

2009-02-17T10:49:00.000-08:00

not that im the ever nice person.lol.
but i always thought being the ever nice person is always......er...ever nice?ha

but nope.NOW i think that having a temper and expressing justifiable hatred towards people who has got no common sense means I've got an attitude!

the day ive fully reach the highest level of this new attitude is to punch the guys and bitch slap the sluts that i despise!

u all ********************* losers!

ha...gawd.feels DAMN GOOD!

nikon D90

2009-02-16T07:33:00.000-08:00

hello guys. its been quite some time.

recently my brother bought the NIKON D90 DSLR due to his impulsive purchasing disorder. and thanx to that, i got to enjoy this new gadget!

big ,black and heavy. feels juz like a bazuka when you hold it.

alrights.enjoy!

the above photos are chosen from the 100 odd frames.supposedly,the better ones.lol

watch this guys!

2009-01-29T13:39:00.000-08:00

JILL! MIN! look.im not the only one!

2009-01-25T10:08:00.000-08:00

gen and i.

??: make the waffle a double! says (2:05 AM):
happ CNY!

gen says (2:05 AM):
hey

??: make the waffle a double! says (2:05 AM):
happy*

gen says (2:05 AM):
happy CNY!

??: make the waffle a double! says (2:05 AM):
hahaha..
u r so far away to feel the festive season!

gen says (2:05 AM):
anyway, i gotta go for my reunion dinner now!
okay la.. i have steamboat lor. nothing much but better than nothing

??: make the waffle a double! says (2:05 AM):
wah..haha...okok!!!

gen says (2:06 AM):
ehhh you. eat more goodies for me!!!

??: make the waffle a double! says (2:06 AM):
enjoy!!
YES MDM!
haha

gen says (2:06 AM):
have fun! take more pictures lemme seeeeee

??: make the waffle a double! says (2:06 AM):
ha...alrights.with me inside?or ugly pple?

gen says (2:06 AM):
of cos with you inside la
i see ugly ppl for what
they are all over the place can

??: make the waffle a double! says (2:07 AM):
HAHAHAHAH! okie! then i need to hide in one corner to take

gen says (2:07 AM):
haha rights
k la, talk to you another day k
gonna be late!!

??: make the waffle a double! says (2:07 AM):
alrights.im goin to shower and slp! enjoy your reunion dinner!

gen says (2:10 AM):
kk talk to you soon. bye!

??: make the waffle a double! says (2:10 AM):
bye!

addition,an addiction!

2009-01-25T00:24:00.000-08:00

my last minute shopping for CNY new clothes!

rate the flower.

2009-01-22T14:20:00.000-08:00

These 2 shots are taken at the nursery near ngee ann poly.

and its also my first time playing around with photoshop!

i realise editing photos can be quite addictive! Hope you guys like wat ive done!=)

2009-01-20T02:03:00.000-08:00

This big NEON GREEN flying bug got me freaking out the entire afternoon in the office today! =(
i hate bugs.period.

the post abt wanting to post an entry.

2009-01-12T09:12:00.000-08:00

yes.i've been wanting to post.

however,

i dun post just for the sake of posting.

its not a homework.

its not a webby whereby i report about xianen to the world.

and well, i had the urge to update a couple of minutes ago.

but now that i am feeling warm and cozy after a long hot bath.

i guess,it would be most appropriate for the about to fall sick me to head for bed.

and to avoid misunderstanding to my dear friend,cheng chengxx.haha.

i knw u have been bugging me to update.

however,this entry is not arrowed at you.lol

so dun bitch abt it yeah?.hhahahahaha

2009-01-06T14:19:00.000-08:00

im suppose to have a long entry,so that i can entertain swee cheng during her office hours.
i do have an entry in mind.but im so sleepy i can hardly focus my fingers on the keyboard already.

sorry swee cheng,i'll update it when i wake up.im sure its going to be before your knock off time.10pm right?

haha.

read up.im sayin my thank yous.

2008-12-28T10:04:00.000-08:00

THANK YOUs:

1.swee cheng
*best friends loves and hates each other most

becoz we know each other TOO well.*

2.lydia

*i really luv the watch u gave me.so dun feel insecure over the pressie!ha.*

3.ron

*ur sms from cambodia meants sooo much! tts y i bought u something u can faint just at lookin at it for xmas!so,we better see each other SOON*

4.sharon

*luv that big puma bag,i can store everything.im now jr.mary poppin*

5.shaun

*i know a big part of the bdae cake cost is from you,coz u have no idea wat to get for me!ha.still,u could have gotten me a FEI YU QING poster/cd!ha*

6.ruth

*dun worry,i really luv the tie u bought for me mucho!i will reply ur sms-es in full sentence still!*

7.Lemon 8.Rachel. 9.Pei Shan

*no more may i authorise! and did u guys know i luv that Kenneth Cole watch? rachel, u must have been stalking me all along!*

10.Qi Hui

*my 19th dec buddy! wat else can i say,we are like twins already.u totally read my mind,no?*

11.Terry

*u are seriously trying to convert me into a ben and jerry-ism.im sucha proud scoopie with that cap and the pin frm BnJ!*

12.Amanda

*luckily my dad is not going to open the wine u bought for me.coz he doesnt take spanish wine!chicken soup soon?*

13.stewart

*im not ur bro,but u can call me boss.ha.*

14.hao wen

*i was soo close to break down when i din hear from you during the szechuan earthquake,so glad u still did.at the very last moment.*

15.lin yong

*u cheat my feelin!ha.i thought u went for NDU! but u end up buildin bridges!*

16.eric

*i see you,i see hard liquor.*

17.jonathan tan

*u are one of the rare guy i will label as "bro",and.pls freakin shave!*

18.iwin

*AH GOOOOOONG*

19.Jon

*AX pullover! awesome-ness!*

20.Jes

*knw what?my shoulders are still too broad for that L size adidas polo!ha!*

21.Samuel Tan

*u need to cut down on your puffs!*

and also to the rest that drop me a bdae sms or blog a " happy birthday xianen"

THANK YOU ALL SOOO MUCHO!

xianen apologizes if he does leave out any names.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The PARTY goers

lydia,ur skirt...abit short eh

min and jill,the swim camp must not fail!

sometimes,i juz wanna open up ur brain and check!

Steeeeeewart,u gotta teach me your moves on the dancefloor!

qi hui,the next time we club,u better start shakin ur bom bom!

wah lau,qi hui got BOYFRIEND ONE OK!

~~~~~~~~~~~~
The FAMILY:

PAPA, i would luv to see you TAG in my blog! ha,it would soo cool. thank you for all the unconditional papa love u've shown thru your BULL ways.

MAMA, u are juz like my best fren! i love and hate you most! hahahah.u shud tag too mom! that is if u even chance upon here! and cook more GOU LOU YOK please!muacks!

GEGE,u sacrificed soo much that im startin to doubt my level of will and determination already.

JIE JIE, thank you for being so supportive in whatever i do! and u know too yourself that NO MATTER WHAT,im willing to stand right by you.like you said, u can lean on me now. TRY LA HUH~

i dun need hotel gourmets on my birthday, a warm family dinner prepared by mummy dearest is all that i want.LOOKY! 6 course dinner!(i din snap the cordyceps soup) made with LOVE!

declaration

2008-12-19T21:43:00.000-08:00

hello guys,its been a busy busy week.

i promise i'll update real soon!

the next entry will hopefully be not tooo lengthy.

b4 i end off....xian en would like to THANK EVERYONE for making my 21st a blast!

and of coz, all of the presents too.=)

2008-12-04T11:30:00.000-08:00

She woke me up at 12.30am

nagged me to switched off the lights and computer.

its 3.36am now.

and i still cant fall back asleep.

thanks alot mother.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

drizzling thoughts.

2008-11-23T08:08:00.000-08:00

one day, he will wake up to witness

the gentle and lonely snow flakes

fall quietly into his palm.

Standing by the frosted window

watching the sharp gusts of snow billow

then swirl and drift to the ground.

till the naked branches of the trees turned white....

he continues to dream, boldly.

although uncertain as he has always been.

kerrie cant hold her liqour well,all she needs is 1 cup of baileys.hahahahaha

2008-11-21T10:21:00.000-08:00

opening drink: FLAMING TOYOTA!

accompany drink: WATERFALL

FREE FLOW: 1 Litre of erdinger.

shit.hard liquor and beer is fatal combi.

im spinning.

shut up.im drunk.go away.i wanna slp.

lets drink again.yippie.

damn the person who lose my keys.

its goin to raining!

2008-11-15T12:29:00.000-08:00

no pictures could really reflect saturday. they can only get THAT close!
and that is as close as it can get.

from the eye of my olympus 850SW!

we LOVE tracy! YEAH!

=======

me: awkward positions.no matter where.

=======

we heart Cold Cold Nuts! lol

========Jia JessieJin & S.TJW

========

swim team myth:
seaweed!
=========

till the next degree....

lost in translation.

2008-11-13T23:31:00.000-08:00

im so pissed! how can the office connection be any slower than home?!
i cant even upload 3 photos!
im already in my lousiest mood!
urgh!!!!!!
i dun even feel like going to swim already.
thats how ridiculous im goin thru in my environment.

rum and raisins cup

2008-11-13T01:53:00.000-08:00

For the cupcakes:

75g (3 oz) raisins

3tbsp dark rum

225g (8oz) unsalted butter, softened
225g (8oz) caster sugar

225g (8oz) self raising flour

1tbsp baking powder

4 eggs

=================================

For the syrup

3 to 5 tbsp dark rum

2tbsp light brown sugar

=================================

Soak the raisins in the rum for 2 to 3 hrs or overnight to soften them.Drain. Preheat the oven to 175 deg. Place 12 paper baking cases in muffin tins. Combine all the cupcake ingredients in a large bowl and beat with an electric whisk until smooth and pale, about 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in the raisins. Spoon the batter into the cases. Bake for 20 minutes.

--------

While the cupcakes are in the oven, combine the syrup ingredients in a pan. Over low heat, dissolve the sugar in the rum. Simmer for 5minutes, then remove from the heat. Remove tins from the oven. With a toothpick, prick 5 holes in each cupcake and pour the warm syrup over them. Then remove the cupcakes and cool on a rack.

===

HERE YOU GO MIN LEE! RUM N RAISINS!.ENJOY!

snack of the day

2008-11-12T09:04:00.000-08:00

BH Lemon Cuttlefish and don't forget to bring down the heatiness by drinking low sugar JIA JIA liang teh!

midnight snack

2008-11-11T13:25:00.000-08:00

hullo. i think nobody is payin attention to my FUND Raising exercise! which is like..DAMN!

its been numerous times since i reminded myself to TRY and MAKE and EFFORT to blog CONSTANTLY, u knw....never works.

and im juz so amaze by swee cheng's constantly updated blog. its practically almost like a homework to her in which she does it soooooo obediently! hahahaha

oh no,im such a lazy student!(cheng, rmb how i fall aslp in every-any class?)hahahahha

maybe,except PE. u cant drop dead on the track or a court right?

countless gatherings which im duper(its not a spelling error) lookin forward to!

having friends is like a relationship! same word(LOVE), samewhat same meaning.and still, almost same theory applies: commitment, trust, communication, honesty and BLAH!

some random dig outs!

this is middle of the night make up tips!

guys? can we do this again?

i hate twist-ing in from of the camera.really.and SOMEONE do not usually does tt too!hmm

er...somewhere around the eyes right?i knw, its free make up.ask me how.holiday trainings

its colourful,energetic,good eye contact, the lighting is good,the camera luvs u! its the best picture so far!

FUND RASING!

2008-11-09T11:56:00.000-08:00

Hi guys,

my best friend, RON. will be going for a med mission trip this dec org by NUS.

he and his group will be raising funds for this event.

PLEASE make a love donation to the kids in cambodia. they will be translating the donations into PE clothings for little children.
PE attire consists of t-shirt,shorts,shoes and socks!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DONATE!
i know its a tough time for many now, but let us not forget the people who are really IN NEED of our helping hands.

Im sorry, they don't have celebrities performin life threatening stunts for you to hold your breathe while you dial 1900-blah blah blah, also.... don't you worry that there is a "MING YI FA SHI"(rmb the monk on that DOES charity?)
in this mission trip!

IF YOU WANT TO DONATE AND GET MORE DETAILS,pls call RON @....
96456916

2008-11-09T11:50:00.000-08:00

you wouldnt expect me to blog ever again right?

u ARE readin my latest post NOW!

anyways,

xian en is feeling down.

fly me to anywhere that is snowing.

i think it will take my worries away.

npst beach outings.

2008-08-19T02:17:00.000-07:00

im healthy becoz of them.cant wait for the upcoming beach outing!

people,TIME TO STRETCH UR MUSCLES!

we are not done YET!

2008-08-19T01:27:00.000-07:00

i woke up too many times having the feeling to blog.but...it ended up remaining as a feeling!
so many months past, too many events, almost forgetting the unforgettable already.
at least not the closest friends around me.=)

ok..lets rewind!

ivp! erm...abt 6 or 7mths ago?lol

i hate blogspot.coz when i upload photos, its on top of everything! it doesnt comes out at where my cursor is! bitch.ive decided to publish each event as 1 post.lalalalala.

as we grow up together.....part 1.

2008-02-04T11:22:00.000-08:00

its about time i make another post! poly is almost/already coming to an end. whether the second marker is still firm with her comment of," i think u need another semester" from my final year project or not, im still going to enjoy my korea trip as much as i can! hehe..
3 years of IT in ngee ann wasnt at all interesting...i have never enjoyed a single bit of it...yea...so another semester for me would seriously be hindering me from moving on in life. its not goin to do me gd lor. so pls..lord....i will opt for army instead! let me pass this final semester!
Let us revisit NPST when we were in year 1.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1st yr POLYMPICS.damn...look damn cock

we had our own fair share of goggle marks during holiday trainings

mama.snowy(wah...very long call manda snowy already)

hmm...ngee ann swim team yr 1s

er....................notice the sun tanning spray on the block?belongs to andy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

owen's FHM shot!

aww...look at terry....

fantastic four YEAR 1...watch us grow

they brought us the first relay medals! thank you!=)

1st row: henry.owen.andy

2nd row: amanda.jody.ron.xianen.terry

3rd row:eric.jeremy.iwin.???(im sorry,i forgot the last guy's name)=\

the queen posing during dinner after ivp at thai express @ holland v

we took several shots with different odd expressions.u noe..things that guys do when they are young...yea...they call them boys

1st yr student.1st time captain of the team.7th position in ivp.not all 1st la.hahahah

fantastic 4 with our ever supportive senior(ah gong), brekkie at west coast park macs b4 ivp!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

never a dull moment with.....

2007-10-14T06:36:00.000-07:00

a cheerleader sitting right beside you everyday from 9 to 5pm in school. providing you pure entertainment every second! it is a pity i could not snap a photo of her face..but still....i tried my best....

catch her and her partner(myself) in crime on noise pollution at blk 31 lvl 1 everyday whenever u are feeling down!

show ur appreciation by at least buyin some choc mints or tomato flavored twisties for the cheerleader!*that is IF u r coming*

besides that, I, Chan Xian En, cant imagine the mutation i will be going through from xiang yin's whining for this entire semester.

MY MISSION:

SAVE THE CHEERLEADER!!!(like heroes seh!)haha

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ANYWAY, training for IVP starts tmr officially. like hurhur..yeah*fucked up face*.

and yeah!! i finally updated my blog bitch!

2007-10-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

school is startin tmr!

and ive pasted lots of photographs on the wall, to make sure my best of friends stare at me everytime and make sure i do well for my last semester in poly!

sigh.i feel so good at handling pain nowadays.. is tt something bad?

ive changed.

2007-10-02T10:26:00.000-07:00

and this is how i look like now.=\.

wdt!(wo de tian),dream bloggin bitch!

2007-09-28T14:05:00.000-07:00

sigh.i know its a very bad word to start off with,you can juz imagine what depressing paragraphs or rubbish u r about to go through in a few seconds.

its 5.07am,when i thought im suppose to be happily dreaming of yummilicious food or some fugly-vasion nightmare. u noe,at least im aslp.

but......NO! i juz cant! its been quite a few days since this is happening, and ive been putting lots of effort into tryin to turn in early and juz wait for the slpy juice to oooooooze out and den snore~~~~

flipping around like a giant pancake on the bed for hours is not at all FUN.and my patience in falling aslp is definitely running out.but like wth can i tooting do?
no! i dun want slping pills.

im really tired,seriously.i had a long friday.i could feel myself so sleepy at town at abt 12plus am?and i was thinkin,shiok.im gonna juz faint straight away when i hit the bed.
so DUH,it didnt happen the way i thought.

i wish im dream blogging right now. dun wanna pinch nor slap myself to confirm it either.
im pretty much awake la..DAMN IT!

nothin in my head is functionin straight(ok,i noe some of ur are juz gonna roll your eyes and say "DUH"),but DUH! its 5plus am.

wat is not functionin straight?

i feel like openin up my wardrobe and walk into it as if narnia is in there.dun ask me why!its 5am rmb?
want to go downstairs and juz walk ard the house like a zombie,i do tt quite often last time.
dreamin that im dream bloggin
squeezing in between my mum n dad and slp in their arms. im such a kid!
play darts?
tryin to mess up the kitchen
im thinkin of how to mess up my room n make my mum scream.
scrubbing my balcony floor
i see gisele bundchen right in front of me?
feel like throwing ice cream at people.like,ice cream war?

urgh!!!oh wait,i hear music!-ringing in my ear-
"its britney,bitch"...."gimme gimme ,gimme gimme gimme muah~~~~"

im feelin crap like,juz random and blah...slightly emo.i feel grown up,strange,but yet not grown up.still strange
like a man yet boy,a boy yet man.wtf.

eh xianen....after u post this shit.your friends are sending u to the psychiatrist!

ok,im done with my nonsense. i believe its some mutation goin on in my head tts y im goin through all these.

i need to call ms jean grey.or is she already ms jean scott grey?

we smile for the camera..because we are happy.really?

2007-09-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

catchin up with old pals.makin new pals,hanging out late,stonin at home.plus 1 competition.

i guess this pretty sums up my holidays so far.

its always the same few.could have been more and better.but for now,im contented.=)

samuel tan! i realise there isn't any photo of u in this post! and this post is suppose to be about my holis! we HAVE TO meet up.its an compulsory outing for us.

its not goin to be some lengthy post people.enjoy the photos,but please tell me if u right click and save it.u need to pay ok!

Bianca Ryan - You Light Up My Life (studio)

2007-09-08T03:30:00.001-07:00

=\.bianca!!!i want your number!!!!!

2007-09-02T11:10:00.000-07:00

ok....so 1st wk of holis is over. my plans for holis will SHOULD begin by wk 2 of holis. juz a quick recap of week 1. hmm..lets see ar,new cpu,new external hard disk,tidy up my room,small lil gatherin of the swimmin pals over at my place,trumpets bbq,hangin out with lydia and cheng..spend money..spend money and spend more money.haiz

nice nice???

Disco Dancer - Jimmy Adja

2007-09-02T11:09:00.001-07:00

anyone wants to learn the dance steps with me??PLEASE....hahaha

new photos!!

2007-08-29T12:53:00.000-07:00

auntie janice has uploaded all her photos!!YAY..quite a few days ago already actually.heres wat she took of me!!!haha.so the thing is,if u want to have a higer chance to be shot by her of YOU in action durin ur events....JOIN MORE EVENTS!!..so next yr masters..hmm..wahahahhahaha....
and right below is a couple of photos of my new DOG!his BUDDY!i dun think cheese gets along really well with buddy, but aiya,his jus jealous and being pup and a attention seeker...he prolly needs more time to welcome buddy into the family.i luv them both.

aww,sam n i juz love to pose for auntie janice's camera!

it was not our idea of lookin cool..ok..or kiam pah.

wah.....im no breast stroker la.....action action only.haha

i think this is taken durin like warms ups,i prolly wun do such a nice breathe durin my events.lol

and a very drama plunge...

luv this shot,when the hay gets wet,its back to loreal hair!

oh..and everybody..this is buddy...and buddy..this is everybody!

sheepdog..tsk tsk...buddy even guards my balcony for me...

risk

2007-08-27T06:15:00.000-07:00

ive never played risk the boardgame once in my entire life.
but in reality,im doin it so,right now. for another 8 months.be it dark days like b4 or watever kind of days it will be,i still have to go on and make my best effort to.........(only ****** will noe)(that is if u are readin).

8 months ago,when i was devastated,esther's words came to my mind..and 8 months later, its ringing in my head again. just to fill up to those who doesnt know what she said when she read my palm,"xianen, u will face all sorts of challenges in life,but u will overcome them with triumph,by 30s..."

whether u believe it or not..*shrugs*

frens..frens,...better frens....best frens, i know all of u will start questionin me again,be it to know my latest news in life to bitch abt to others or genuine concern.i beg u to not even attempt to do so.i have 3 closest fren in my life right now,S,R and SC. if i do tell,it will only be either of these 3. but i dun plan to do so,coz ive made 2 of which suffer with me for good 8 months.

so why bother bloggin these down and yet not wantin anyone to come and ask me what is happening to me?definitely not attention seekin...i juz need a avenue.

leave this poor boy alone. he has got much things to learn.

international masters 2007

2007-08-26T10:11:00.000-07:00

hello world!!

im sooooorrrryyy...i know u guys have been comin back to this stagnant blog for gd-0-1month?hhaha....exams are over!!!my best fren,holiday,finally returned from a holiday,is back with me.holiday says i can spend 2months with him.awww...so sweet right?its a pity he cant stay a lil longer.

anyway....xianen is caught up at farrer park this weekend with INTERNATIONAL MASTERS2007! it wasnt as pack compared to singapore masters,however,competition was much tougher coz hongkong uni(LEI HO MAH?!?!??!?!)...and team nus were there!!!-well, wats competition when no one is there to compete with u,like u juz go there and own without liftin a finger?

-now-i cant wait for auntie janice to upload the photos!!!!

OH YEA,i exchanged my shirt for the hong kong uni shirt!!!haha,dun get jealous guys!!!!! its a pity i didnt manage to get their swim cap too.

alright,whether its enuff said or not,im goin to upload the photos now......cant wait..hehe...

darlin was so nice to meet me early in the mornin to pass me her camera b4 i head off to farrer, we had breakfast and macdonalds near her place....hehe..thx sweetie!

we somehow juz got the same smile.=)

we dun do the colgate smile.its outdated.

JJ.sam.PRETTTTTY!!!!!.moi.

can u see the vein POPPIN OUT from my arm? i sprinted on day 1 of the comp u see.hahah

attemptin to blend into the flag~

guys~smile for the camera pls~

aww...the lovey dovey

so u think u very cute la?

the usual fan4~guys,we need to dota!

bestie ron and i in the toilet waitin for me to shower.haha..so gay la~

thnx bestie for comin down to see me swim my FIRST MEDLEY event!aha..sorry,i got dq.lol

jj after his 800m swim.

u guys have no idea how EXCITED i am to be able to take photo with Ms PRETTY CHAN!

i dunno her name,but she look really dao when she dun smile.=\

he! this guy! thrash me in 100 free..hurhur.

and he!this guy! i beat him in 50m fly!hahahhaah.his mr SZE CHUAN! caught him in the toilet changing into his leggers when i went in to shower.his from team nus by the way.i guess i will see him durin ivp.haha.

if u ask me wat im tHinkin right now.

2007-08-10T08:39:00.000-07:00

"Behind These Hazel Eyes"

Seems like just yesterday

You were a part of meI used to stand so tall

I used to be so strong

Your arms around me tight

Everything, it felt so right

Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong

Now I can't breathe

No, I can't sleep

I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything

Opened up and let you in

You made me feel alright

For once in my life

Now all that's left of me

Is what I pretend to be

So together, but so broken up inside

'Cause I can't breathe

No, I can't sleep

I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out

For hating you, I blame myself

Seeing you it kills me now

No, I don't cry on the outside

Anymore...

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

kids,dun try this at home.

2007-07-29T13:33:00.000-07:00

osim triathlon 2007-the mad mud race

2007-07-29T13:21:00.000-07:00

mud pie for u sir?

ivp...not as simple as u think kid!

2007-07-18T09:44:00.000-07:00

ivp package is more or less settled and its..WHOOHOO!....cant wait to lay my hands on the BAGGIE!ha....

since im already at ivp and package. for those who have been approached for sizes,congratulations! u guys are already been given a chance to represent the school.but not tt fast honey.i said chance.

if you tHink by getting the package means u r already in the ivp team...den ops,no.
i hope u all realise tt each ivp event only allows 2 swimmers from each sch and 2 reserves.ONLY 1 team for each relay.

AND!

dun u dare think tt juz because u r faster and dun appear for training means u get a walkover for the event that u want to take part in. if u r a senior urself,den u need some self reflection. if u are a leader urself,worse.shame on u!

KNOW THIS!

we dun choose the ivp team juz because solely u r fast.if ur attitude stinks, den u arent worthy of the slot,because there are a number of swimmers who are comin training every mon,wed and friday after sch...juz as tired as you! tryin so hard juz to make it for a 30sec sprint durin ivp.

ANYWAY!

for those who are still not aware of the stiff competition u r facing, time to wake up!

ive gOt 1 advice for all: train hard,train smart.=)

2007-07-13T07:10:00.000-07:00

400m free warm up
20x50m pull with paddles (free,comp) on 1min
2x400m IM kick (20sec interval)
3x200m IM
4x15m starts
10x25m plunge and sprint
6x15 sprint and turns

was feelin very very very nuah before training,one of the few times where xianen doesnt wants to get into the water. i took my time rolling in the water during warm up, pulling was quite funny coz everyone did fly with paddles on the 1st comp set.and the next comp set,u see either freestyle,backstroke or breast stroke already.ONLY AMANDA THE QUEEN flew ALLLL the way...haha..owning everyone..if only i were in the mood to chiong ,i guess i would have push fly too,but...sigh...nuah~~~~~.
i tHink out of all sets,i enjoyed 3x200m IM the most,coz i went faster and faster and faster!!!LOL.it was 3m28sec,3m 22sec and lastly,3min 18sec!!!almost gave up on the last set,but henry was jus so near me every time!!and i went URGH URGH URGH URGH,esp when its BREAST STROKE!!coz i can hardly move la.lol.
10x25plunge and sprint was kinda boring,not in the mood to sprint and yes..NUAH~~so,i was juz playin ard with plunges and stuff.
ok.....enuff abt training.

hmm....messy messy feelings.but even though i knew u had a terrible past,or still gOin thru tough times. i juz wanna let you im there for you.=).ok?

right now,im kinda burning~~coz yah,its just hot la.wtf.

bye gurls.

2007-07-12T11:40:00.000-07:00

300m free warmup
8x100m IM swim on 2min?
16x100m free pulling with paddles on 1min50sec
600m kick (300m free 300choice)
4x15m plunge
3x50m comp stroke sprint
3x50m free sprint

You did fly for all comp stroke,and at the final 50m free sprint,u chose to do fly instead.THATS EXTRA EFFORT! not poser! two thumbs up!

anyway!....ivp training has just began, i tHink the programs so far are still quite ok. not tiring yet,but still i get piss off coz uncle steven is always cheating my feelings(ok la,not those really piss off kinda piss off....get it?).

heading down to arena this comin sat morning to get the package, and extra C prog lesson from 2 to 4.=(.but fairfield is havin past vs present!!!!!urgh.i wanna go back fmss!

HARRY POTTER!!
881!!!!!!
ALONE!!!!(samuel!!!watch with me leh!!!!)ahah....
SIMPSONS!!!!!
RUSH HOUR 3!!!!
rat-ta-too-eee(did i get it right)?

thats about it!
ohoh..and new bag,new shoes,more food,and
.......if only u knew...........

Christina Aguilera-Hurt

2007-07-04T00:38:00.000-07:00

seems like it was yesterday when i saw your face

you told me how proud you were but i walked away

if only i knew what i know today

i would hold you in my arms, i would take the pain away

thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes

there's nothing i wouldnt do to hear your voice again

sometimes i wanna call you but i know you wont be there

oh, i'm sorry for blaming you

for everything i just couldn't do

and i've hurt myself

by hurting you

some days i feel broke inside but i wont admit

sometimes i just wanna hide cause it's you i miss

and it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

would you tell me i was wrong, would you help me understand ?

are you looking down upon me?

are you proud of who i am ?

there's nothing i wouldn't do to have just one more chance

to look into your eyes and see you looking back

oh, i'm sorry for blaming you, for everything i just couldn't do

and i've hurt myself, oh...

if i had just one more day

i would tell you how much that i've missed you

since you've been away ooh, it's dangerous its so out of line

to try and turn back time

i'm sorry for blaming you, for everything i just couldn't do

and i've hurt myself

by hurting you

...

2007-07-03T09:47:00.000-07:00

...ok...im suppose to blog all abt the masters thingy tt took place last weekend.but i have yet to receive all the photos and videos,so im juz gonna hold onto the post for the time being.
but right now,hmm..im juz feelin...bleah.because....now tt u are comfortably enjoyin being gd friends with me and yet im still....haiz.can i hope for the better.?please?its like...ARGH...and den ARGGGGH...and den ARGGGGHHHHHH.

spider pig...spider pig...lallalalala...

fireworks baby~

2007-06-26T12:01:00.000-07:00

wats CNY without ang baos?

but no....sorry.....wait till u celebrate CNY in china...

and u will ask,wats CNY without FIREWORKS!!!!!

CHEENA CHINA....the rural

2007-06-26T10:39:00.000-07:00

its BEEF galore! nothin on the table except fresh raw beef.xianen's fav meal.pity,i had it once only.

and if ure tHinkin of havin pork! i hope this would make u happy.eww.

taken on the day when we are departing from the village to the city.

thats xiao kang and my cousin gayin ard at the main gate of their house.tsk,so not discreet.

speechless~

juz to show u guys the amount of fireworks we PLAYED.whoo*sweat*.theres no way u can imagine it,nothin like those u have seen durin national day parade.trrrrust me

taken from the 5th floor of the house/buildin/hotel.wateva u want to call.

and this is the 3rd storey,where all the guest rooms are.plus the table tennis table.

the room i stayed in with my cousin.and i seriously miss the bed.=(

hmm,dining area.1st storey.

i wanna have this table at home.hahahaah.AUTHENTIC PEOPLE!

im PRETTY SURE i did mention abt the table tennis training i went thru eh? a pity no one took me in action....sigh.but i dare say im pretty gd at it!whoo!can challenge me la!hahah

those are photos of my grandpapa's house.its a 100odd yrs,still strong and steady.how strong and steady?i dunno.hurhur.

not sometimes.its everytime.perhaps,a lifetime.

2007-06-24T00:43:00.000-07:00

sch's reopening tmr,im not at all in the best mood to go back for lesson.in fact for anything.
i felt like this at the beginning of this year.took me 6months before i can say xianen is back.
within less than a week,i got pushed back into total darkness again.
2007,this is not funny. u r not training me to be a better and stronger person this way.
though knowinly tt i bust things myself,at least im back sincerely to walk a very long walk in life with you.
..............................................this is wat i got.
2007, i dun want to befriend u anymore.

-my happy ending-
avril.

Way back into love

2007-06-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the pastI just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some directionAnd I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
Oh oh oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

palm reading.

2007-06-23T09:28:00.000-07:00

remembered very vividly, one of my sec 5 classmate esther, whose mum is a feng shui master read my palm one afternoon during DnT workshop.
she said,"hmm,xianen...the year u hit 20 and all the way to 30 odd years old,u will suffer alot.but after that,u will be enjoying ultimate richness(not juz as in financially)."

nice to here the after 30yrs old part...very disturbing from the 20plus onwards...because if all these were true...which it is starting to seem so.let me tell u this,im not goin to survive through my 21st birthday.

tyrant in disguise.the innocent eyes always works!

2007-06-20T11:17:00.000-07:00

awww...look at our dear cheese~~ok...louis,watever.....SO CUUUUTEEE RIGHT?omg...wanna hug him!!and cuddle him...

hmm......hold on sec....lets juz scroll down first

RAWR!!! BITES MY HAND..AND MY TOE!!!!=(

u guys should hug me and cuddle me instead.poor xianen.=(....

whee

2007-06-20T03:42:00.000-07:00

say also dun listen

listen oso dun understand

dun understand oso dun ask

ask oso dun do

do also do wrong

wrong also dun admit

admit also dun correct

correct also not happy

not happy also dun say

hmm..oh no?or hmm...=)?

2007-06-19T04:04:00.000-07:00

u saw that comin.but i dun think u saw this comin!haha...coz oh no,i tHink im missing you.=\

blow trumpet....BOO BOO BOO!hahaha

2007-06-18T12:34:00.000-07:00

ANYWAY!saturday caught me headin back to farifield,for alumni band practice!i WAS sooo excited,until....i sat down and tried playing. but oh wells,ive snapped a couple of shots,juz to show ya all how i spend part of my sec sch life.

argh!

2007-06-18T11:23:00.000-07:00

is not that when im chatty and ure not and when ure chatty and im not.im chatty 24/7.and YOU know that.and i do know u can be chatty too! i hope the things i see with my naked eyes are not true but its so hard not to believe anymore.because its so easy to spot you.though im not in any position to direct what u should and not do.but yah.ha.*shrugs*-I DUNNO(my fav phrase)
when i though i had enuff of the im chatty and ure not kinda daily lifestyle.it suddenly became ure chatty and im not tonight.NOW im scared.NOW im afraid. omg,wth is goin on.
it was frustration for 3months den smile for 1day and now frowning away.ok.im confused.
stop tossing me ard.'coz the captain(s) need a life.right?u dun?i DO!
may all god from all different universe or religion or galaxy or wherever.
just.just enlighten me.

ps.my prayers are answered."dream a lil dream of me"-michael bubles.

tin.i luv dancin away ALL my sorrows!its a lil hot in there,very noisy,lots of weird stares.but heck it.

this is growing up?

2007-06-18T08:53:00.000-07:00

yup.and i guess u are true.everyone has got their personal emotional baggage.its only a matter of knowing how to put them down and learn to appreaciate the new environment and new people. =)
not sure y..but after last night,many things juz hmm...yah...sorta went through my head.is this call.....er...growing up?
but.yah,im feelin lighter now.

anyway,thnx cheng and ron for the past dunno how many months for being ard with me.xianen is ....hmm...i dunno.ha...xianen is happier now.

back to black

2007-06-13T01:09:00.000-07:00

its only the 3rd day of swim training for the sg masters team, and everyone is feeling the h-e-a-t man~the heat as in both the training programs and the sun!
all the chao tars and not chao sng,the ever famous swimmer goggle mark!ohoh and the Hot sizzling tanline!with these,we see freeloaders surfacing for moisturisers!not naming names!ha...plus the "vanitism" of guys...."EH!!wheres the mositurisers!?!?!faster!!i want!!skin so dry!LOOK AT ME!!so fried!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
juz feel that training in yr3 has really changed,not like in the past,where there is terry Mama,manda the great,and henry the gu niang.its now only jj and i left.well,im not implying tt training is not nice or enjoyable anymore.but its the company i guess.sigh....the old nicey memories back in yr 1 and 2 where the 3 of them would come to my house and dota!! and BnJ!! at the same time over my place.
##########################
anyway,as surprise as manda would have been as me.andy the hunk wannabe came down to train together with us!as usual, he and his all sorts of gatorade drink and wat calories/fat reduction drink or protein shakes continue to keep me rolling eyes!hahahahaha..like er....i still dun still the point in wasting those money. toking about andy really makes me think of possessing a gd attitude during training and being a gd team member.as u all know,ive plan the program for holis and leadin them during training.its not the speed and the timing i want to see,or probably not in the 1st priority.

theres nothing else tt would make a leader or coaches any happier to see their team/students putting in their best foot forward and pushin themselves during training. agree?
seriously,getting cramps,gOin to the toilet,always filling water bottle or stop and stretch due to cramps or even stop due to stitch, is one of the lousiest though common practices of slacking.
no one knows im always swimmin with a bad stitch,no one figures tt during the pull set im havin cramp in my thigh,no one sees me keep getting in and out of the pool to fill water bottle or even juz stop and rest because im tired.

training since yr 2 got me realised tt the skinner ones like jj and i or the girls are not resting due to tiredness or anything unless it hurts real bad.fitter/bigger guys who gyms and take all the funny shakes which makes them look like hunky bunnies are showing otherwise!THEN HOW?~(jj's new trademark)

im not against with these people la,but wheres the basic effort?its totally cool if u cant make it within time, its definitely alright if u cant catch up with the faster ones. BUT at least, finish the whole set and make sure u finish and be able to tap on your shoulder and be proud of urself not because u gOt away without finishin everything but u gave ur best shot and push so hard u felt like u r gOin to throw up ur 7 curry puffs u had for breakfast.

more than once,people would come up to me and say,"wah,tin u r getting faster." or "wah...u r fast man,cant catch up with you anymore."im feel gd,of course,but hello,i dun juz put in effort.if u wanna be fast,its not just about listening and learning to do the correct strokes from uncle steven or senior natalie.lol.pushin urself during training is a SHOULD DO or even a MUST.if not its not training anymore.so how to improve till u r fast?...1 more word b4 effort!EXTRA effort.
this "extra" includes of goals and putting them into actions.basically,doing more than wat is being expected.u dun have to shout or yell to the whole world abt it,result shows,and everyone will see.

before ending off this post, i would like to comment on a freshie...LUKE!!!.his attitude towards the torturous sets have set a great example to those who feels tt "aiya...so long and tiring....." people.im sure he will be amazed by his new improved timing during the sg masters meet.=)

tin.the nagger.

2007-06-06T11:43:00.000-07:00

sour 2007

2007-06-06T10:30:00.000-07:00

its finally ONLY mid sem break.and im totally turned off by school.
startin off this sem with 6 modules:
1.Introductory to genomes and proteomics (I LUV DR ZAMAN!)-core-
2.C programming-core-
3.Programming in Perl/BioPerl-core-
4.World Issues in Singapore's Perspective (WISP)-IS-
5.Inventory Management-elective-
6.Insight into tourism industry-IS-

seriously,i dun see why WE bioinfo students must take C prog.like *toot*.its blardy 2 freakin hardcore programmin modules for a natural born programmin idiot for me.

im not havin fun with my modules,not in my lessons,not with my friends,not with school life.
i thought year 3 was going to tough(true) and with new made friends(false) i can start fresh(false) and chiong all the way(false) being motivated by ....(false)........(false).......(false).......and finally graduate happily ever after.(hopefully true).

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the feeling now is like hanging on to a plank,stranded in the middle of the ocean...alone....cold....afraid....yea...practically lost...and not found.=(

haven seen myself being hit so badly ever in life.
sigh....

anyway...common test week is over for me.i know i could have done better.really.
i really need tuition on programming.i dun have a particular language that needs extra attention,because both requires the same amount of extra effort.

2 weeks of break till another grueling 8weeks of school.i need to catch up with my programming languages, finish my IMGT assignment,train hard for SG masters and hopefully someday along the break...................... . yup.oh....and i wanna do up my room too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ah yes,swim team.sigh and yeah!!!!
i shant elaborate on the 'sigh' part coz its yah..shh....
yeah!!!=>the swim team is very much bigger.erm...to the extend that every training gets very noisy coz there are people always chatter chitting away.well,its always good to have noise better than none..so yeah!!!!!.
its really nice to see the year 1s so enthusiastic about learning how to plunge and execute proper turns,though its a little frustrating but nevertheless,two thumbs up for effort!

*****************************************************************************
hmm...yes,ive moved back to west coast!!! get to mess up my OWN room,dirty my OWN toilet and vandalise my OWN balcony.kiss goodbye to the days of sharing~~.we've gotten a lil pup too!ok...i know its golden retriever,the same kinda dog u saw when u left home for school and the same kinda dog's poo u stepped on your way home after school.but still....my dad likes it.so..*shrugs*...the person who pays decide which one to get!
Apparently, this dog is named LOUIS!.coz my mum says that some king in europe was called Louis too.sigh...i should have told her that some chinese gay-fag teacher who likes astro-boy in my sec sch happens to be LOUIS too!*roll eyes*

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